When the boys decide that they're going to a frat party, the meet an idiot known as Luskin. After infiltrating Luskin's life by joining him on an ice run, Luskin quickly takes the trip to new heights, much to Parker's dismay. Meanwhile, Carol has put-up with the girls' lies and decides she wants to hear every lie they've ever told her.

Bob has to close a deal with a big executive wishing to buy. Bob, trying to be as likable to the man as possible, tries to pass off Patton as a ten-year old since, the buyer has a ten-year old. Patton realizes that the undercover job might not be that bad when he gets a peak at the kid's babysitter. Parker and Pearce once again fight about Alayna, while Penny tries to sabotage Paige's tips.

It's the school's Battle of the Bands! Paige asks Patton to help the other ladies in her dance routine but, as it turns out, Paige is the one who needs help. Bob, feeling left out after missing his Battle of the Bands due to having premarital sex, worms his way into Parker's band. Parker gets royally pissed and walks out. Meanwhile, Pearce uses an unusual instrument for his one-man band.

The Chase Family attend the multiples convention. Patton pretends to be a twin to get under a girl's shirt...again. Penny and Paige woo two identical twins. Also, the parents take another Quintuplet family as their proteges.

The science projects are here! Pearce and Parker use the project as a last-ditch effort to find out who Alayna likes better. Elsewhere, Patton finally gets a girl, the hottest girl in school. Unfortunately, when Patton learns of her fetish he gets too disturbed to even kiss her. Meanwhile, Carol, feeling that she hasn't done anything really charitable, decides to help the elderly but, her charity marks the end of the road for some.

The beautiful Alayna Collins has just gotten back from a five-year long trip to Africa, a fantastic surprise for the quints. Paige throws a slumber party to introduce Alayna to the jungle of High School, while Bob and Carol spend a wild night at the Nutley Motor Inn. On the boy's side of the house, Patton spies on the slumber then gets in an interesting predicament. Then, Parker wants Pearce's help in becoming more than friends with Alayna. Pearce talks to Alayna but, a huge misunderstanding may make Pearce question his loyalty to his brother.

When Penny is chosen to direct ""Romeo and Juliet"" in the school play, all the quints sign on to help out. Patton lands the role of Romeo and has to kiss Parker's girlfriend, Paige becomes the prop master, and Pearce hijacks Penny's play. Meanwhile, Bob and Carol wangle an invitation to dinner at their neighbors' house.

When Pearce takes Penny's date away she's horrfied and mad. Paige decides she wants to be homecoming queen but Bob's lack of money and support ends up making her look like a freak. Meanwhile Patton can't get a date so he lies to a porn star to get her to be his date. And Parker is bullied into taking the toughest girl in school while he still has a date with a girl he likes.

The Quints get jobs! Paige and Patton wind up selling shoes, but their different ways of working retail conflict. Pearce gets a job at the pet store, but he buys most of the pets himself. Parker works the food court, but ends up hating the job, when he gets a monstrous zit on his nose. Meanwhile, Bob recklessly spends the money that him and Carol were supposed to use for a gift for both of them.

The Chases compete to be the stars of a commercial for a minivan, which they will get to keep if they win. They are up against the Helbergs, their ultimate quint family rivals.

Bob wins a cell phone, and then, realizing how much the kids want the phone, creates a little competition for all of them. Whoever does the most chores, wins the phone. Unfortunately, the plan backfires, when the Quints join together, and go on a strike.

When Patton fails to make the basketball team at school, he joins the cheerleading squad to score, with cheerleader Haley in particular. Patton runs into difficulty following through with the cheer routines however, when he gets overly aroused in public. After Paige fails to make the cheerleading squad, Penny gives her a lesson in thickening her skin. Bob is obsessed about wanting Parker and Patton to win scholarships.

When Penny falls ill with the flu, the others force her to the basement to save themselves. It doesn't work though, and one by one they all fall ill, messing up all of their plans. Bob and Pearce are the last two standing and take some time to bond. Penny and Paige also bond over an unlikely activity. Pearce makes a fashion statement, and creates a new language- "mathlish".

When Bob takes Carol to see Bruce Springsteen in concert, the kids throw a party to boost their images at school. At the party, Parker worries that his less popular siblings will embarrass him in front of a hot girl. Patton's attempt to woo a girl ends in disaster, while Penny meets her soul mate.